Things I can't control 1...

The serenity prayer has always annoyed me, ever since I first heard it as a young teenager. 

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

Firstly, I don't believe there is anything I can really control, as much as I would like to. I mean, I can't even control the hair on my head, they keep sticking out, falling out, turning gray.

It's not really the control-freak in me that is freaking out... well, it kind of is. But it's a lot more about the knowing the difference part. 

There are a few black and white things in life, fair enough, but the vast majority of things surrounding me are not black and white. I mean, for most things, how would you know if they can be changed, unless you tried. And if you couldn't change it, how on earth than would you then have the serenity to declare, "all right, this can't be changed then, must fall into that category, tick" let's move on. 

How would you not know that you failed, how would you not be frustrated, and how would you just move on and accept it. And I won't even go down the route of the connotation of the word "wisdom", which kind of implies that it is a God-given knowledge, so practically a higher power telling you what is possible or not possible. And then where is the all things are possible with God thing...

The process of gaining this wisdom must surely involve trial and error and I suspect some people learn their limitations sooner than others and become more resigned and don't try that much anymore. Surely, just like with any preconceived idea or prejudice, the process of induction will help you make the right assumptions in the vast majority of cases, but not always. And doesn't this process of learning our limitations, reduce our enthusiasm to change the world? Isn't this the whole idea of growing up and becoming boring, middle-class suburban people?

I don't comply well without knowing why and having a chance to think through it and accept or reject it, or fake-accept it, yea, I do that too for survival obviously. 

So no wonder I find my life being a mum so frustrating at times. Motherhood arrives with million unspoken rules about what's right, engraved in us and in society. 

More on the specific things I can't control next time.