people who are always so positive and just get on with things and put a positive spin on everything and of course at the same time I wonder though if they are really that positive and whether we shouldn't all experience a certain level of grief at some stages of the journey and if this should be expressed occasionally.
I can of course only speak of myself. For the most part, we are really happy and adore Fi who is just a lovely typical 22 months old, apart from the 10 cms she is shorter with than her peers. Her speech is coming on beautifully and she is a real fun kid.
Yet just over the last 2 weeks, I can't help but remember that our plan was to have our 4th child around now. Had everything been OK, I would either have had a baby by now or would be heavily pregnant. This will never happen now, I could not go through another pregnancy after what we had been through with Fi, I would be so worried about what may happen.
I think it's OK for me to shed a few tears over that and not pretend that it is just OK.We may adopt one day. But for now, we will stay a family of 5. And the neighbor's cat...
It is definitely ok for you to mourn. As for positive thinking... I think it can be all of those things. As a mindset it is either cultivated via environment or by an active choice on the part of the individual. There are probably people to whom it comes naturally, too, either by nature or through their environment. Personally, I'm still working out the balance. I was raised to think negatively- not a conscious decision on the part of my parents, but via their own tendencies- you know, "expect the worst, and be surprised if it comes out better than you thought"- mentality. I've been making a conscious effort to increase my positive thinking skills in the past couple of years, but I believe that there is still a place for recognizing fear and the disappointment that not everything is or turns out to be how we'd like.
ReplyDelete